I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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