; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
