How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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