Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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