yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
