it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
