I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
