im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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