Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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