I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
