this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
