I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
