man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
birth control should be required to get into college
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize