he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
