I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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