I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
