you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
