When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
