Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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