sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
