i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
