2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
