i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
