Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
