How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
