so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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