Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
