The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
