Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
