Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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