i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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