Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
