we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
