Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
