3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
