After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
