They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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