Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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