There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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