Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize