I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i used baking grease as lip gloss
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
