What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
