we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
