So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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