Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Randomize
