were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
