I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
