did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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