the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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