she was so not down for the gang bang
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
