I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize