LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
