we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
should my penis look like a turkey
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
