Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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