is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
