So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
