Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
