You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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