so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
