We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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