I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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