i jhust puked up my retainher.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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