we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My balls are so social today.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize