a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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