Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If that was your dad, he is hot
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
