well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
