So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My vagina is officially offended.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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